"I Don't Want To Die": A Night of Truth-Telling at WNYC

Actors and advocates gather to bring a heartbreaking ProPublica investigation to life.

I had the privilege of attending a powerful program at WNYC, co-presented by Theater of War Productions and ProPublica. The evening was centered on a live reading of Max Blau’s harrowing article, “I Don’t Want to Die”: Needing Mental Health Care, He Got Trapped in His Insurer’s Ghost Network, brought to life by an extraordinary cast, including Oscar Isaac (Dune, Ex Machina), Kathryn Erbe (Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Oz), and Bill Camp (Presumed Innocent, The Night Of). Through their performances, they captured the desperation and heartbreak so many Americans face when they seek mental health care. The program aired on WNYC and can be streamed at WNYC.org.

Blau’s piece tells the story of Ravi Coutinho, a young man in Arizona who did everything right: He had insurance, he sought help and he reached out for care. But he found himself caught in a "ghost network" — a web of supposedly in-network mental health providers who either no longer practiced, had long waiting lists or simply didn’t take his insurance anymore. Despite paying his monthly premiums, Ravi was left without real access to the help he urgently needed. Sadly, his experience is not the exception — it’s a widespread and often deadly failure of our health care system.

Following the panel reading, the audience had a thoughtful discussion that was facilitated by Bryan Doerries, Theater of War’s Artistic Director. Here is what I said when the microphone got to me:

Hi I’m Wendell Potter I worked for insurance companies for 20 years. I’m very grateful for ProPublica, for Max [ProPublica reporter], for Barbara [Coutinho’s mother] for telling her story and Ravi’s story. This is not unique; this happens day in and day out in this country. 

Centene is one of seven large for profit insurance companies. Collectively these companies take in more than a trillion dollars a year from us as taxpayers and policy holders. They can afford to have adequate networks. They choose not to. They want to make it more difficult for us to find the care that we need. Because the more barriers they erect the easier it is for them to meet Wall Street’s profit expectations.

We’re just a few blocks from Wall Street, which is where they worship. I know this because my name was on Cigna’s earnings reports for 10 years. These companies make enormous amount of money and they spend an enormous amount of money on stock buybacks rather than paying mental health providers what they should be paying them – and to make more practitioners available to people who are enrolled in their health plans.

They also spend enormous amounts of money in Washington in lobbying expenses; in campaign contributions to protect the status quo. That’s how this game keeps going on and on and on.

UnitedHealth Group, which is the largest of the companies, between 2023 and 2024 spent over $18 million lobbying in Washington. Lobbying both lawmakers and regulators to protect the status quo. And keep in mind that Centene and most of these companies are getting the majority of their revenue from us as taxpayers through Medicare Advantage, Medicaid, Obamacare. 

Thats where the money is coming from. We as taxpayers — whether we are enrolled in Centene or some other plan — we are subsidizing their profits, and the profits are going into the pockets of shareholders. Big institutional inventors. Not to people like Ravi who are not getting the care they need. 

I would love for this to be something that could be performed in Washington, in the Capitol. Because lawmakers need to hear this. They hear in day in and day out from lobbyists for these big companies. There aren't nearly enough of us telling the stories of people trying to get the care they need.